My Best Christmas Gift

This blog has been just a way to record quilts and paintings that I have done over the years = but I feel compelled to share a very personal story about my Christmas 2013 and the very special gift that the Lord gave to me.........and I would encourage anyone reading this to go to Him, in faith, with your heartaches, your deepest needs - His word promises that He will comfort you....


Christmas was a tough day this year - no family close by - just a long slow day with a few tears shed. But I received the best present late in the day from the Lord - exactly what I needed and have needed since the 18^th of June. Some would say it came my way by pure coincidence - as a woman of faith in God = I don’t have enough faith for that much coincidence. To explain, I have to go back 6 months….

My father, who would turn 93 on the 30^th of June, was dying. He had been living with my husband and I since July of 2012. He had been on hospice since September of 2012 for a very bad heart….but he was dying from dementia. He had stopped eating - his body was shutting down.

At the end of May, we had to put Dad into a nursing home. Three weeks later on the 10^th of June, I snatched him out of there - they just were not caring for him properly - his condition was deteriorating rapidly. And I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the guidance and strength to bring him home that day - for even 24 hours later, he was no longer able to sit up on his own - I would not have been able to bring him home…. To die.

The hospital bed that hospice provided consumed Dad’s small bedroom leaving no room for a cot. I had been sleeping just outside his room but on the night of the 17^th, I knew I had to stay with him, so I piled quilts and blankets in a corner on the floor and slept in the room with Dad. His breathing was loud, labored - but being so tired, I was able to fall asleep. A little after 1am I woke up - the room was silent…..

I thought I had prepared myself for his passing…. I longed to be with Dad when the angel came to escort him to the Lord’s presence. And if I am completely honest - I was longing to see, hear or even just feel that angelic presence in the room. But there was nothing - not a thing........when I woke and no longer heard Dad breathing, I tried to take his pulse - but my own heart was beating so hard, I could not tell if the pulse I felt was his or mine. It was my own…….But I was there, awake and beside Dad when the last air left his lungs….and still, there was no light, no radiance, no sound no special sensation in the room….and for 6 months I have felt a letdown, a disappointment, a sadness, even an unease about that night - …………..

I am one of four girls - we all enjoy reading and have been sharing book recommendations for several years. I often check my library for the books that my sisters have read but living in a small town, the library often does not have them. So I have a growing list of ‘books to read’ and occasionally try to find some on the list. The week before Christmas I found two on this list that could be borrowed from other libraries here in TN. I asked my library if they could get one of the two titles for me - they did and I picked it up on the 23^rd began reading it on the 24^th and finished it on the 25^th.

It was thru this book that the Lord gave me my Christmas gift - this random coincidence that of all the titles that my sisters had recommended to me, from finding two of them available thru the TN library system, of those two, getting the one that would bless me in a very personal, direct way…. And that I would suddenly try to get this book right before Christmas when I have had the recommendation for over a year…… a random coincidence - not!

In the book Ties That Bind by Marie Bostwick is a prayer - a very simple child’s prayer that I had never heard before which took away my letdown, my sadness, my unease about that night….as soon as I read these words - I knew the Lord was talking to my heart - and I thank Him and I praise Him…..

I hear no voice

I feel no touch

I see no glory bright.

But yet I know that God is near,

In darkness as in light.

He watches ever by my side and hears my whispered prayer.

The Father for his little child, both day and night doth care. Amen.